Maggie Mae Goodie, if you are frantically pacing around the house, wringing your hands and having feelings of resentment towards Otis because his green fetish is preventing you from participating in "The Potato Challenge Project", and dashing all hope of potentially winning a lovely antler-vine-tutor, I have the solution! You need a cage!....not for Otis, au contraire, for your plant. As your luck would have it, I am in possession of one, very roomy, abandoned bird cage...ON COASTERS, NO LESS...that can be wheeled from window to window with no effort. One word from you and I can/will gladly ship (Free of Charge) Purolator...to your Place of employment (library) or directly to your doorstep, on your day off. This magnificent converted cultivar cage:  ...Is bigger than a bread basket. ...Comes with casters. ...Has a convenient bottom shelf. ...Cost nothing to maintain. ...Is cat proof. Notice the bottom shelf for storing the watering can, garden tools and plant food. The top half has a handle and can be lifted off it’s base and transported outdoors to follow the sun (weather permitting)...they need a lot of sun, you know. So, I think you’re now out of excuses. Take the plunge, you won’t regret it...they really grow on you...really! Get a move on and please let us know what your contribution to the prize pool will be.

Goodie
Not sure that I have a sunny window to put it in. Have to keep all my greenery up high and out of sight of Otis (the elevator kitty) who eats everything green that he can find in the house.

Maggie Mae
I play my Eric Clapton 33 1/3 LP ...but only once...every afternoon, so he can sleep in the morning. 
He needs his rest so he can grow strong.

Goodie
I’m going to be playing Joni Mitchell, Miles Davis and Tony Bennett for mine. Maybe some Etta James and Ray Charles too.

Gilli
HURRY, HURRY, Goodie, according to IJ's instructions it can take weeks for the vines to appear! I've started playing Mozart's Requiem to mine.

Maggie Mae
Several weeks! Sigh.

Indy
Growing a sweet potato plant can help a novice gardener learn the basics of gardening. Starting and growing the sweet potato plant requires the potato to sprout both roots and leaves before the plant will grow. It is also a lesson in patience, since it can take several weeks for the sweet potato to progress from the root stage to the ready-for-planting stage. Both of these skills are necessary for a successful gardener.

Maggie Mae
No, you did it right, Gilli. I put the smaller piece on a wet paper towel in a petri dish, ‘cause that’s how we did it in third grade. I think D.N.D. paid for the potatoes. You know, posterity and two for one and brown paper towels and all that. El cheapos. Come to think of it, we watered them all at the same time. They were all at the same room temperature and they all shared the same window sill but some were spud duds. They just got mouldy and rotten. Anyway, if mine takes a turn for the worst I can always call Goodie and have her pick a premium one out at her Neighbourhood Nursery and have them send it here collect on our Purolator account. Sometimes you just have to appreciate the convenience of the times we live in.

Goodie
I don’t know. I guess we have a scientific experiment going on here and will have to wait and see. Haven't started mine yet but I guess I'd better start on it this weekend.

Gilli
I burst out with a good belly jiggling giggle when I saw Maggie's plantation! Too funny. Made my laugh lines even deeper and more noticeable - - - thanks for that Maggie! But - - - - Ack ack ack! Was I suppose to cut off the bottom part of the tattie? No one told me! I stuck the whole thing in it's entirety in the glass. Send advice soonest!

Maggie-Mae
Well, if you insist. Follow the link to the Potato Planticipaction Project - Planticipaction Progress Chart. The "SWEET" patate on the CRYSTAL pedestal is mine (...three slots to the right of Gilli's)...mine has been up there since the 1st of February....I remember that because I made a note to myself on that very same day... Actually, I was the first one to participate. The picture is quite professionally done, don't you think? My spud looks like a proud little potato soldier. If you want to see a bigger picture of him, just click the thumbnail and you will get "the bigger picture".
I think he has a bud-pimple but ya can't see it, without a magnifying glass, even in the "bigger picture". Magnifique, non? ...and don't pay any attention to Dal's slot. She's trying to pull a fast one. Oh, Goodie, we can hardly wait to see yours!

Goodie
Yes, yes, send pictures Maezie!

Gilli
That is pretty funny 'cause I would never use orange napkins with colorful seed packets. Just not done! Those 'orange napkins' are my tatties - - - well NOT "those" tatties. They are my, hopefully, spud vines...at some point in time. Indy says I gotta' stop singing to them as I am stunting their growth!

Maggie-Mae
Get a move on girl...you'll be left out in the burm dust.

Dal
Yes, perhaps we should see yours, Maezie. It'll make for more excitement in the race. 
Now, this is really only funny if you keep in mind that I got new prescription glasses just before Christmas. When Goodie said "those look great, Gillie" I had to go back and look at Gillie's picture of the "seeds". I thought she had gotten all Martha Stewartie and had put champagne glasses and placed orange napkins behind her seed packets - just trying to look cool. Egads. I have not planted a patate yet so I guess I'd better get on it. Egads. Tomorrow. Too busy today. Egads.

Gilli
I owe it to JetDry. Nothing like a sparkling clean crystal wine glass to set off a spud in water!
Sure. I would love to see your pimple!

Maggie-Mae
Lovely wine glasses. Gosh Gilli, your setup is very elegant, regal almost. I posted it! You now have a slot in the Planticipaction Progress Chart.  
As I mentioned before, and I’m sure you all recall me saying that I started mine on February 1st...I remember that because I made a note to myself on that very same day...and to-day I think I saw a little whitish pimple on a dimple.
Does anyone want to see a picture of mine? Mind you, the pimple is not visible without a magnifying glass.

Gilli
Well, Goodie I will let you know. Indy started hers a few days ago and I asked her if she has any little vines started yet but she said it takes longer than a few days to get them started. I am anxious to see the little greenies start to pop out. The race is on!

Goodie
Gillie, that looks right to me. Sure hope you keep us posted on their progress. I have never grown a sweet potato from scratch but I have grown an avocado and this is exactly the way I do it.

Gilli
I have a picture and a question. Actually I have a few...
Okay here's the question - - - does it matter which end of the sweet potato (yam) goes in the water? Some have a little pointy on one end and some don't. Who knew this would be so complicated. Anybody?
Oh and I bought FROM SEED, Viola Helen Mount - - - ideal for containers; Lobelia Regatta Blue Splash and my Nasties (Nasturtiums) (See picture in Gilli's February slot above.)

Gilli
Actually Goodie, I think you put on your wellies and tramp out into the woods until you come across fiddle heads and you bring home the fiddle head and put it in water or something and voila, a fern! There must be a web site!
Well, maybe NOT for everything! Can a person buy fern seeds? A vine container at the front door might be alright but I can't see it being the recipient of the antlers. I haven't bought my sweet tatters yet. Keep forgetting. Dang it all anyway, I better get my act together. All my vines are gonna be 2 inches long - - - not attractive in a four foot tall artistic pot by the front door! 

Goodie
Hey I’m not growing everything from scratch. How do you grow a fern from scratch? I need a fern in my planter.

Gilli
Good one, Noogie! Is there a marketing firm somewhere in need of potato slogans! Someone call McCains!

Noogie
Potataction!

Goodie
Just the thing to get us through the winter. Visions of spring planting dancing in our heads.

Maggie Mae
Yup...and I'm designing a webpage...called “Potato Planticipaction”...as we speak. Yep. Uh-huh.

Gilli
FUN! That's what. And something to think about to get us through February. And I don't know about you but I'm trying to figure out how to cheat without getting caught. Who grows a fern from scratch - - - I ask you!?

Peanut Gallery
Ohfergawdsake! What are they getting themelves into!?

Gilli
Oh my! Oh my! That's gorgeous! Something to aim for - - - hmmmm, frost and deer, I am very much afraid mine will look nothing like that. I'm thinking the Most Pathetic Prize oughta be a trip to Hawaii ! ! You know, just to make up for coming in last!
But Indy may be able to pull it off - - - her hanging baskets every year are stunning!

Dal
That looks good...but I think Goodie's was prettier last year.

Maggie-Mae
Indy, getta-looka' this. Insight to the reward for your planticipaction!.......in about 5 months...if the deer don’t take to it.

Go! Go! Go team! Go!
Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!

Indy
OK I've got a sweet potato and now have the recipe for success..... Must get started on the "planting"
I can hardly wait to have these wonderful hanging baskets!!! I'll save a bit for my veranda planter ....bigger than a bread box and tall like our Noogie ....I can do that.

Gilli
Noogs is on board. Dal is still undecided until the first prize is announced as a trip to the Cayman Islands. Goodie is definitely in and will be consulting as we go along. IJ is out at her Grands house and will have many many emails to sift through before she can sign up - - - but she did sound interested.

Maggie Mae
Gilli, the first challenge is about growing "sweet potato vines"; what you do with them “after” is an additional challenge. For goodness sake...we’re getting a snowball effect here...ain’t it great?

Gilli
Yes! IVY! I like ivy. And cuttings are definitely allowed because I said so! I gotta root it and water it and feed it - - - good Gawd, I've got myself another man in the house! HA! HA! HA! (Inserted by the Moderator.)

Goodie
Yes eventually you bury the bulb in the soil Gillie but for now you can just grow it in water. The things grow like weeds I tell ya. I cut it back three times during the summer last year. Very hardy plant and I think very pretty. I had a lime green one and a deep purple one.
...and ivy is a nice addition to a planter. I had ivy in mine last year.

 I know nothing!

Maggie Mae Whoa! Whoa! Galloping green thumbs, Gilli! No soil needed just yet.  From the www: Help your children start a sweet potato vine. (Forget the children part.) Using well-positioned toothpicks, support a tuber so half of it sits in water in a vase or Mason jar. It will thrive in a well-light room, producing decorative vine like stems covered with heart-shaped leaves. Place it near a window. Periodically feed it with a little liquid plant food and train the vines to climb or cascade. (We want the cascade effect.) Start in late winter. I used chicken skewers instead of toothpicks...they look more purposeful.

Gilli
Well, not a sweet potato in the house; not even a dried up one in the cold room. And you got me so fired up and full of enthusiasm that I HAD to do something. So I clipped some viney thing here in the kitchen and I will get these started first. Tomorrow will be the sweet potato challenge. Oh RATZ, I will have to buy soil as my compost is frozen solid.

Maggie Mae
So does that mean you’re throwing them into the patate prize pot. Lemme see...spurs, antlers...I feel a theme coming on.

Dal
Don't forget..I live where deer antlers have high decorative value. There are some nailed on nearly every garage and shed in the county.

Gilli
Yup, uhuh. Hmmmm, I detect a 'tinge' just a tinge, mind, of sarcasm but the antlers stay - - - they're very attractive - - - only one of the pieces is broken!

Dal
Actually, I do have a lovely set of dressage spurs that I can't use. Oh, and I shall be trying very, very hard to get my hands on those antlers.

Maggie Mae
Hey...we are still in “getting started” mode and open for contributions...so whatta you suggestin’...spurs? an M&M distributor?...or mae-be a rubber chicken?

Dal
Listen. If the prizes are deer antlers & pin cushions, count me OUT.

Gilli
Very advant garde! And I'm sure Dal could figure out an artistic arrangement of some sort. She's good that way! That's if she's lucky enough to win them!

Maggie Mae
Gosh, can you picture the effect of the antlers used as sweet potato tutors...and the broken piece would be sorta’ camouflaged! I’m outta breath!

Gilli
This is Gillie talking NOT Maggie. If you would like to change "your" prize please feel free but I am really happy with the one I donated. Deer antlers.

Maggie Mae
Oh, Noogie you little (but tall) high-tech executive secretary...
...you've committed! I’m so happy, I could dance!

Noogie
Count me in.
Contribution: Pin Cushion

Gilli
Only if we figure out how to smoke'em! HA! HA! HA! (Inserted by the Moderator.)

Goodie
Geez, I hope they aren’t arresting people for growing sweet potatoes these days.

Gilli
Oh SWEET POTATO PLANTS not Alaskan Golds! ! And I didn't know they were vines. Now I gotta get some. I was thinking they were the same as ordinary potato plant plants. Goodie, you are soooooo knowledgeable.
Okay count me in on the growing of our own vines - - - - I'm up for it!

Goodie
Sweet potatoes are vines. They grow over the side of an arrangement and they grow like Jack’s beans.

Gilli
Blundy would make a great judge and I'm pretty sure she is open to bribes!

RULES (So far.)
Bigger than a bread box 
At least as tall as a bread box 
Hanging baskets will not qualify 

...and who do we elect as a fair and unprejudiced judge? Blundy? Should we proposition her?...mae-be offer her a pair of antlers?

Gilli
Did I say Marijuana? I meant marjorama - - - that green herb thingee that tastes good in soups and pasta sauce ! ! ! 
Well, I see that you and I are registered in the Best Potato catagory! ha ha ha!
Yes, Noogie is good to go and already has an honourable mention for her hostas!

Maggie Mae
No no no...! Talk code Gilli!...we might be under scrutiny by Umaricun Excise Cops...say, “pot in the tall pot”...or “a tall pot pot”, the “mari” word is too incriminating...and I wasn’t suggesting that Noogie embellish her hanging geraniums with pot or patates; I was simply inquiring about the hanging geraniums...and besides, last year, she bought a big, perfectly suitable, wonderfully tall "by-the-front-door-pot".
...and I’m happy to see that you are participating in the Potato Challenge Preparations, Gilli, I sometimes get so lonely playing by myself. So....we ( FINALLY ) have a good start. I’m so excited.

Gilli
No no no, not in hanging baskets - - - in the artistic "front-porch-by-the-front-door-container" - - - has to be bigger than a bread box and at least as tall if not taller. I would think any kind of potato plant would add some greenery. Hmmmm, a marijuana plant would look good too. 
Really - - - you can put potato plants in hanging baskets? Wouldn't they grow up and not hang down and eventually take over the whole pot?

Goodie
Indeed they do Indy.

Indy
I don't understand..... sweet potatoes? Do they make good hanging flower baskets? I think I will start some if this is the case.

Gilli
Wait just a darn minute here! When I said "Ready-for-the-pot-arrangements" were disqualified, I meant that the pot was already sitting there all done and all you had to do was take it home and plunk it in the "artistic-pot-by-the-front-door". Good Gawd, Maggie if we have to 'grow' our own plants the contest would be over long before our plants were ready to go in the pot - - - which would be by the end of Sept. or Oct. Hmmmm, ready in time for the Fall Pot contest though!
It's all about the arrangement. 
So we have to be able to buy what we need - - - although I will look out in our forest for my green stuff and maybe a wild rose plant - - - but the arrangement must be all our own. Although if I start my seeds now, I would have a crack at the points for 'growing' my own arrangement. Hmmmm, what to do . . . what to do . . .

Goodie
Of course we took you seriously Maezie. I knew you’d get that sweet potato into a pot and onto your windowsill and yes I’m taking the easy route because Otis eats everything green in the house. The only thing he hasn’t touched is the time he grabbed a Brussel sprout off my plate when I wasn’t looking. He quickly walked away from that. I do think you should get points for growing your sweet potato from scratch though.

Maggie Mae 
Insert sheepish grin here.

Gilli
E x c u u u u u s e moi! But did I not suggest a front porch pot contest with a spread sheet drawn up by the Mistress Maggie Muggins ?! 

I even asked for prize suggestions - - - to which only Maggie responded to and since then I have found an old pair of deer antlers to add to the prize bucket! And by-the-by, "Ready-for-the-Pot" arrangements, are automatically disqualified. Although I do have to look at a picture having not one original idea or creative bone in my body. And speaking of such, I do believe we should have a prize for the most pathetic arrangement.

Maggie Mae
Sigh, I was so busy yesterday. I fastidiously prepared my sweet potato.
Note to oneself...(Feb. 1st-Date to remember)
In lieu of the negative response, or should I say lack of enthusiasm, to the sweet potato challenge I presume nobody took me seriously, as usual...but then again, the nonparticipants situated in the central region near the Neighbourhood Nursery have the “Ready-For-The-Pot” option. That attitude is truly a throw back from the age of take-the-easy-route and gimme it, right now.

Goodie
(GASP...again) Never plant hops!! The roots go everywhere. We had to rip them out of the lawn when my neighbor grew them along her fence line at the old house.

Indy
I planted hops one year and they all died..... I was so looking forward to the great profusion, like the display at the Centre where Gillie worked.....but I got nada!

Goodie
You can buy them at our Neighbourhood Nursery ready to put in your pot. See, I’m not competitive. I’m already giving away helpful tips.

Dal
Yeah Goodie, we're after your cute little "two-shoes" butt!! Last summer I learned not to put twenty sun loving plants in a planter that should be holding about seven shade loving plants......vroooom, vroooom....rarin' to go!! Where's my trowel? Where's my..... Hmmmm.....Wait!! It's only January 28, guess I could cool my jets for a couple of weeks yet or I'll have run out of energy by the time comes. Imma gonna be perusing "the books" for ideas. Although the thought of a shriveled and stinky sweet potato (an audible, collective GASP inserted here) in the window for three months makes me nervous.

Maggie Mae
Ya well, hoping ain’t gonna cut it this year kiddo, the competition are all hypered up and rarin’ to go.

Goodie
Challenge is on Maezie! Just hope I can do as well this year as I did last year.

Maggie Mae
Yes, yes. Capital idea! First off, before I spend hours concentrating on Excel formulas and pouring over colour schemes, borders and frames, who all is participating? Heaven forbid I should get the spread-sheet all set up then be obliged to delete a column or a row.
-Who will write the rules?
-Who will be the judge? Blundy mae-be? She is an expert after all. 
...and here’s a suggestion for the prize...A Yoga handbook or a porcelain Holstein flower pot for the kitchen window sill. Either one would be an excellent incentive. (I have both.) [I know for a fact that Gilli is partial to cow ornaments.]

Gilli
We could do a contest ! With a prize! We will need a completely non-biased judge. Or Maggie could do her secret voting spread-sheet again.
At the Centre, they planted hops in the planters and those suckers grew and trailed in profusion even out here in the hinter-land.
Damn, I would have needed to buy the taters a few months ago to get them going.
Suggestions for the prize please. . . . . . . .

Maggie Mae
Speaking of the burm, if we want to compete with Goodie’s front porch arrangement this summer, now is the time to get those sweet potatoes cut and set up on a windowsill....I bought mine last week.